I will try it again tomorrow. That was my motto for so many years of my marriage. Every day would go by, and I would feel insignificant. Like I wasn't doing enough to be a good mother, or wife. I was failing on some level until I realized how truly unhappy I was inside, and out.
Through the trials that the Lord has given me, I have seen that sometimes divorce really is the best option. Not just for the children involved but for the health of everyone in the situation. I should have known years ago that my marriage was over before it really started. Given the circumstances, and the shortcomings on both of our hands.
I wanted to marry a member, and became discouraged with the LDS dating scene. I settled, which I never suggest anyone do. It tried my faith over and over again. But the one thing still standing strong now is my testimony and love for my children. The greatest gift I have ever received.
I don't blog often, but I think I need to start. I need this private outlet through this time. I need the space to talk about what I can't on a daily basis.
I also want to be an example for positive divorces and co-parenting. I don't want this to be bitter and ugly. I don't want drawn out court proceedings and bitter custody battles. That just isn't my style and frankly I have always hated confrontation.
I will rely on the Lord through this time, and pray for the strength we will all need to make it through this transition.
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